The Mentor Chair · Clients & boundaries
The situation
The relationship keeps costing you more than it returns, and you’re weighing whether to end it.
From the mentor chair
Sometimes, a client relationship just isn’t working anymore.
And I don’t think that automatically means the client is a bad person.
It doesn’t automatically mean you’re a bad stylist either.
Sometimes two people simply aren’t a good professional fit.
But I also don’t believe in firing clients every time someone annoys you, questions something, or has a bad day.
You work with the public.
People are going to be late sometimes.
Someone will misunderstand a policy.
A client may be unhappy with a result.
Someone might say something that rubs you the wrong way.
That’s part of working with people.
What I pay attention to is the pattern.
One difficult appointment isn’t always a difficult client
Before deciding you’re done with someone, ask yourself what actually happened.
Was this unusual for them?
Was there a misunderstanding?
Did I clearly communicate the expectation?
Is there something I could have handled differently?
Can we have a conversation and fix it?
Because sometimes we need to take responsibility too.
Maybe the consultation wasn’t clear.
Maybe the policy wasn’t communicated well.
Maybe you were running behind.
Maybe the client genuinely didn’t know what you expected.
Professionalism means being willing to look at your own part before deciding the entire problem is sitting in your chair.
But patterns tell you something
It’s different when the same behavior keeps happening.
Repeated late cancellations.
Repeated no-shows.
Constantly pushing for discounts.
Consistently arriving late and expecting the full service.
Ignoring policies after you’ve clearly explained them.
Speaking disrespectfully to you.
Making you uncomfortable.
Continually questioning your professional recommendations while expecting you to take responsibility for the outcome.
Expecting results you’ve repeatedly explained aren’t realistic.
One incident can be a conversation.
A pattern becomes a business problem.
And you don’t have to keep accepting a business relationship simply because someone has been coming to you for a long time.
Sometimes you’re just not their stylist
You do not have to be the right stylist for everyone.
Maybe someone wants a service you don’t feel confident performing.
Maybe they want a specialty that another stylist does better.
Maybe their expectations don’t line up with the kind of work you provide.
Maybe you’ve tried repeatedly and they never seem happy.
Referring that person to someone who may suit them better isn’t admitting defeat.
It’s being honest about your skills and the client’s needs.
I’ve always believed clients respect you more when you’re honest about what you can realistically achieve than when you pretend you can do everything.
And this industry works better when we’re willing to work together.
If another stylist is better suited for that client, send them there.
Someday another stylist may send the perfect client to you.
We don’t have to compete for every person who walks through the door.
Look at your numbers
Don’t keep someone just because you need the money.
This one gets harder when you’re building your book.
When you need clients, it can feel terrifying to intentionally let one go.
You start thinking:
That’s $150.
That’s a regular appointment.
What if I can’t replace them?
And yes, losing recurring revenue matters.
I don’t want you making emotional business decisions without acknowledging that.
But there are also clients who cost you more than what’s printed on their receipt.
They consistently take extra time.
They create holes in your schedule.
They expect discounts.
They require repeated corrections because they won’t follow professional recommendations.
They create stress before they even walk through the door.
Sometimes the ticket doesn’t tell you the whole story.
Try this
Before ending the relationship, ask yourself:
Is this a single situation or an ongoing pattern?
Have I clearly communicated the problem or expectation?
Have I given the relationship a reasonable opportunity to improve?
Is there something I need to take responsibility for?
Can I realistically give this client what they’re asking for?
Would another professional be a better fit?
And then ask:
“If this client requested an appointment with me for the first time today, knowing everything I know now, would I choose to take them on?”
Pay attention to your answer.
If you do let them go
You don’t need to make it dramatic.
You don’t need to send an angry paragraph listing everything they’ve ever done.
And you don’t need to prove that you’re right and they’re wrong.
Be professional.
Be brief.
When appropriate, point them toward another professional who may better meet their needs.
Something as simple as:
“I don’t think I’m the best fit for what you’re looking for going forward, and I want you to have someone who can give you the experience you’re looking for.”
can be enough.
Ending a professional relationship doesn’t have to become a personal fight.
Mentor note
Being a team player in this industry doesn’t only mean helping the stylist standing next to you.
Sometimes it means being able to say:
“I’m not the right person for this—but I know someone who might be.”
Know your strengths.
Be honest about your limitations.
Give people an opportunity to correct a problem.
Take responsibility when the problem is yours.
But don’t confuse professionalism with having to accept every client relationship forever.
Not every client belongs in your chair.
And not every client who leaves your chair has to leave as an enemy.
Mentor principle
Not every client belongs in your chair.