The Mentor Chair · Clients & boundaries
The situation
Some clients want to talk and some want quiet, and you’re trying to figure out what good service actually looks like.
From the mentor chair
No.
But I do think you need to connect with every client.
Those aren’t the same thing.
Early in my career, I learned a lesson that stuck with me.
Imagine two stylists sitting next to each other.
One is technically incredible. Every haircut is perfect. But they barely interact with the person in their chair.
The stylist beside them may not execute every haircut quite as perfectly, but they make people feel comfortable. They listen. They remember things. They connect.
Which stylist do you think is more likely to build the fuller book?
Very often, it’s the second one.
Because clients aren’t only experiencing the haircut.
They’re experiencing you.
People remember how you make them feel
Technical skill absolutely matters.
You need to know what you’re doing.
But there’s another skill behind the chair that doesn’t get talked about enough:
Learning how to read people.
Some clients sit down because they’ve been waiting three weeks to tell you everything that happened in their life.
Some want to laugh.
Some want advice.
Some need to vent.
And some have spent the entire day talking to coworkers, children, customers or family and desperately want forty-five minutes where nobody expects anything from them.
Excellent client service means learning to recognize the difference.
You don’t need to force conversation
Especially when you’re building a clientele, it can help to have a few easy opening questions ready.
How was your weekend?
Anything fun coming up?
How’s work?
How have you been?
Even something as simple as talking about the weather can open a conversation.
Then pay attention to what happens next.
If you ask a question and the client gives you a short answer, then goes back to their phone or closes their eyes?
That’s information.
You don’t need to keep firing questions at them because you think a good stylist is supposed to entertain them.
Let them relax.
But if you ask how their weekend was and suddenly they’re telling you about the birthday party, their sister, the disaster at work and what their husband said on the drive over?
That’s information too.
Now you know they want to talk.
The conversation isn’t a performance
You don’t need to become the loudest, funniest or most outgoing person in the salon to build a clientele.
And you don’t need some fake “salon personality.”
People can feel when you’re performing.
What matters more is genuine curiosity.
Listen.
Remember things.
Ask about something they told you during their last appointment.
If their daughter was applying to college, ask what happened.
If they were leaving for vacation, ask how the trip went.
If they were nervous about a job interview, remember to ask about it.
Those little things tell someone:
I remember you.
And that’s very different from simply remembering their formula.
Connection can look like silence
A quiet appointment does not mean you failed to connect.
Sometimes knowing that your client wants peace—and giving it to them—is one of the best ways you can take care of them.
Connection isn’t measured by how many words were spoken.
It’s measured by whether the person in your chair felt comfortable being themselves there.
Try this
At the beginning of an appointment, open the door.
Ask one or two natural questions.
Then stop worrying about what you’re “supposed” to do and pay attention to the person sitting in front of you.
Are they engaging?
Keep going.
Are they giving short answers?
Give them some space.
Are they asking you questions?
They’re probably inviting conversation.
Are they settling into silence?
Let silence be part of the service.
Your job isn’t to make every appointment look the same.
Your job is to learn what makes that client comfortable.
Mentor note
Clients may come to you the first time because they saw your work.
But there’s a good chance they’ll keep coming back because of how they feel when they’re in your chair.
Technical skill earns trust.
Connection builds relationships.
And some of the strongest client relationships you’ll ever build will include appointments where hardly anything is said at all.